Well....if you think that God never works quickly.... I'd have to say I disagree with you. Today was the first day back at church for us in 3 weeks. Lots of "life" happening... I thought all was good and well... things moving in the right direction... then **BAM!!** I hit a brick wall today that still has be pondering where I got off track. Considering what's been going on, I'm glad God is working, very visually in my life right now. And I think its a test to see how much I'm hanging on to this world. Both in Sunday School as well as the service I was convicted of two things.... 1. I may be in a class of people that won't get to go into heaven. and that, quite honestly, scares the crap out of me. I'm terrified of not being in the right place with God to spend eternity with him. 2. I'm being warned... by God and by some of God's Children. and it made my heart sink to the pit of my stomach. My heart is too fragile. And I've not been giving the nurturing it needs. I'm over here flying by the seat of my pants hoping I'm getting it right... and like always... I'm WAY OFF!
I can't just depend on my own understanding of this world, and where my emotions take me. The scriptures say that the heart is deceitful, and we should love correction. Right now, I'm smack dab in the middle of this juncture. The fact that God is still singing over me, even in the despicable situation, means so much, and keeps me from giving up.
Here I am again... with an answer to a sung prayer, that's hard to listen to, but I know will keep me from the temptation that lurks behind it. I know myself, and God knows me better, that I don't do well with temptation.
So here I go... back on my wayward journey. attempting to become more of who I know I should be, who I can be, and who I'm called to be. I don't want to just call myself by my family, title, or place in society. I want to be what Christ has Called me to be. To be a worker for the kingdom. To do my duty.
