This is where I begin...

Thought today would be a good day to just go over in my head and write down what it is exactly that I believe... look at where my heart/head/soul are. If you agree/disagree, that's cool. It's up to each of us to make our own choices... So... here it goes.

Firstly.. I believe in One God. One that created the universe, and creatures within it. One that has a compassionate heart, because He loves his creation.

I believe that Jesus is the savior that has created a new covenant between people and God, and it is because of him that I have the opportunity to go to heaven; if i choose to live by God's word.

I believe that there are circumstances which can only be explained by intervention of a divine power.

That there is such a thing as evolution-- on a micro level. I do not think we came from apes, fish or any other animal; but that we've changed over millions of years to become the creatures we are today on the smaller scale; such as how our teeth have changed, how our skin changes based on where we are in the world, and how resiliant our bodies are to change in environment.

Genetics has a role in disease, but more so does environmental factors, such as food, work and air we breathe and pollute.

I think that so many misunderstandings in the "church" are causing people to be driven away. As the people of God, we shouldn't be fighting over how communion is done, but how we are going to spread the word of Christ to the people who haven't heard of him.

You can listen to any music you want, and still hold true to your beliefs.

I believe that our time on earth is limited... there's not reincarnation, or other lives that we need to strive to be better for.

That you can drink, smoke have tattoos and still be a useful child of god.

I believe that social rights and religious freedoms have been confused for far too long. So in that aspect... I do not support gay marriage, as I think it should be a covenant between the two people and God.. and God has written that it is not to be between two of the same sex. However, as far as social rights, like benefits, power of attorney, etc., I have no problem with... we should be able to choose who has these priveledges over our lives when the time comes.

I disagree with my own divorce. I don't think that I should have had to go through with it, based on our situation. However, both parties needed to be on the same page, and we weren't. I went for the divorce to protect my child and myself.

That other religions, belief systems have their role that they fill... all religions do.... they try to explain the "why" of our existence. Some make you work for your salvation, or reward... others do not.. Some of these cultures are truly beautiful. Yes... i said it... They are beautiful. However, that doesn't mean that I have given up everything I believe in.

Science has its place. Humans have minds that are exponentially full of potential. We only use 10% of the available "space". Science only explains the "how" of the world, and our surroundings. It still can't describe Love, hate, or other feelings beyond a synapse in the brain and hormones that are released. We still have a long way to go, and I'm very pro-science.

Just as two people can compromise on major life decisions, so can people be with someone who doesn't believe the same ideas that they do. I feel it can broaden our horizons. Open our eyes to something we may not have been aware of before.

I believe in living a simple life. I'm trying to work my way towards that everyday... simplifying, getting back to natural products, remedies, and food. I don't want man made chemicals running my life, making me sicker and lazier than I already am.

In the end, I think being "good people" is where a majority of our responsibility lies. Being there for your neighbor; being the person you want others to be to you; showing compassion and grace when it is least expected of you.

I do not think that my work is done. It isn't only about these things, but these are some biggies I feel affect us all. I hope these make sense and my reasonings are coherent. I have so much to learn in my new journey, and how I want Jackie to grow up. My hope is that I can present her with the most accurate information and let her choose what she believes in.

Hope everyone has a good Sunday.

Welcome to the new 'normal'

There's so much that is to be learned from this new season of life. Mostly....that in some ways my life will always be connected to his...and unfortunately,  money is one of those ways....right now I'm very frustrated having to be dealing with things that are shared responsibilities, on a singular level....and in reality, I will always have to be prepared for being solely responsible.  It stinks to be honest....but like I said, this is a new normal.

Thankfully I have a few things coming my way that will help significantly in the amount I owe others, so that I might be more readily prepared. 

I'm sorry this post is more on the sadder part of my new life, but it is what is most concerning at the moment. Tomorrow will be better and I can't let my worry steal that away from me.

Beginnings, Ends, and Middles

Well, tomorrow is a big day. It marks the end of a chapter in my life that began 7.5 years ago. It brought me much joy, and happiness; but it has also brought tears. Tomorrow, there will be one less thing to worry about, but what seems like and infinite number of new things that will always be in the back of my mind.

I hope that I can use this opportunity to show Jackie how a strong woman would act, and react to hardships, and how leaning on Christ can pull you through anything that is thrown at you. For it is strictly because Him, that I am really at peace, in a way that I would have never understood before. Of course I have my ups and downs, get frustrated, and angry. But then I'm reminded that in all reality, in spirituality, I truly am in a better place than I have ever been. I hope that my friends and family continue being the wonderful people that they are, allowing me to use their shoulders to cry on; but also that they allow me to return their favors, and let me help bring them up now that this chapter is closing.

Hopefully in a few weeks I'll be able to write another post about closure, with a perspective buyer for the house we used to live in. It'll be hard looking at it as someone else's home from now on, but I'll always have the memories that were made there.

I'll Leave you with a song, that was sung tonight, and it really went with the Word that we read. It was about the parable of the dinner party, where people were invited to this extravagant dinner, yet when they were told to come- they all made excuses that were obviously made just to get out of the party. So, the host gathered any and everyone else they could find to fill their home...stating that those originally invited would not taste of the feast to be had. It made me think... how many times to we make excuses? and we know they aren't valid reasons... whether its spiritually, with exercise, with food, work, money... We as people need to start taking responsibility and become accountable. But after that scripture "Your Love Never Fails" was sung and it almost made it sting a little more... Even though we make excuses as to why we do or don't do something... God's love will never fail us.. He will always be there, holding the lamp that will light the way to come back to him.


Nothing can separate
Even if I ran away
Your love never fails

I know I still make mistakes
But You have new mercies for me everyday
Your love never fails

Chorus:
You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning

And when the oceans rage
I don't have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me
Your love never fails

Verse 2:
The wind is strong and the water's deep
But I'm not alone here in these open seas
Cause Your love never fails

The chasm is far too wide
I never thought I'd reach the other side
But Your love never fails

Bridge:
You make all things work together for my good

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/j/jesus_culture/

Somethin's comin.....somethin' good...

Sometimes it's almost comical how God can work in our lives.

Just yesterday I asked for prayer from a friend because I can feel myself starting a "depression" swing, things start irritating me more, I feel very isolated from everyone, including those closest to me, and I can't seem to get a grip on the most mundane things of life. Well, I also prayed... asking for someone to reach out... and lo and behold...not even 30 minutes later, a friend I haven't talked to in awhile, messaged me... it took me a minute to realize that I had in front of me an answered prayer! The fact it took me that long to realize it seems silly. But it was a physical "thing" I needed, from God... and He provided, with no hesitation.

Sometimes it's still dumbfounding to think that things like that happen. That prayers do get answered... even if not in our time... mine, fortunately was..but not all of them happen that quickly.

I just wanted to take a minute to tell you all my story, and to encourage you to not forget that there is always someone there who loves you more than anything, who cares about what's troubling you. If you need a friend, I'm here. My heart is open, and I'll give you as much as you need.

"For those to whom love is a stranger, may they find in you most generous friends"