Change, in all its forms

Today was a rough day as it was 5he first time face to face with my ex, that was more about an end than anything else. Up until this point I've been swallowed by doubt and uncertainty about the choice I made. The choice to listen to the Holy spirit and leave behind what looked, felt, and seemed to be so so good. But in reality, that step of faith is saving me everyday.  In the months since, I've been nothing but lonely and seemingly lost in a wilderness that has no end. But today....seeing what is happening,  I'm glad that I listened. I'm scared for his future as he lives with his choices. I want to so badly shake and say you don't have to do it....but what would my motive be? To change him? To save him? We both still are reeling from the hurt that both of us felt when I left so it's hard to have anything to say. But I still love, and want nothing but the best. I can only pray that God uses his spirit to guide him in the right path. I just see him so lost, and I feel lost. But I don't want him to go down such a shadowy trail, not knowing where it leads, but knowing possible outcomes. So tonight I have mixed feelings; searching for my own place, my own confidence and belonging;  believing that what I feel in my heart is true, but feeling like I'm losing it all. What a conundrum to be human....with so many emotions to be put into words. For now, this is the change I live....with daily reminders of what could have been, and may never be; trying constantly to move forward and not dwell on the past.

So for now, this has to be goodbye.

Regret? I don't think so....

It's so funny how when we learn, the lessons are different yet they're really the same. Namely when they deal with principles. God's been teaching me many principles lately. I need to learn not to rush His timing, and to learn to be content in the waiting because this is where so much growing and learning can happen. Just my own revelations as we go through a series on retraining our minds. Retrain them to love correctly,  to not fear; and to not regret. Overcoming regret is a powerful tool. And something not many of us use. If we overcome our regret, we can stop living in the past and start living facing forward with hope, and with truth.

Do you have regret? Do you let it drive your life while you sit in the passenger seat?

All you have to do is realize that the past can't change. If you made a choice you knew back then was the wrong one, then ask for forgiveness, and repent. If you didn't know better, then you made the best decision you knew to make. There IS a difference in that. Now, move forward.

I'm so glad I've got a church that will help me grow and rhat God is working in me and the church to make is all better people and coheirs.