Hey there world... today's been a rough one. Started with not feeling well at work... just an upset stomach..not too much.. then BAM!! I noticed something wasn't done right on a case... I've literally been up in knots about it all day and it probably won't go away until tomorrow... I'm very unhappy in where I'm at. I feel like many things need to be different but don't know where to start to change it. I'm taking it one step at a time but it isn't going to be long before there's a change in the wind that I can't resist.
Today is also a tough day because Jackie's half sister will be born. The last few weeks have been tough because there hasn't really been a ton of communication going on. I feel like more and more we (mostly she) gets pushed to the side and almost forgotten. And I can't help but be furious about it. However, it's not my place to be. All I can do is be the best mom I know how to be, and to show that little bundle of excitement and joy that I love her no matter what. That is the very least I hope she gets from me. I pray for my heart to be healed of the hurt, but it feels like the wound is reopened often. I pray I can get past my personal feelings and focus on what a beautiful gift I get to spend my time with. I'm sad because she's not been invited to share in other's happy times also.
I pray for God to show me how he can work through me for good. I'm feeling a calling coming to me, but am again unsure of how to go about it. Or how to start it....it's so different, and I need to make sure all my ducks are at least close to a line before I make large moves in our lives.
Thats all for now really. I hope you all have a great weekend.
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