awkward.....

Yesterday was interesting for one reason. I went to an event that in the past, has been the one thing to rescue me from any type of sadness, burden, or trouble. But last night, it didn't. I'm unsure if it was because for the first time my grandma wasn't there, if it was because I still harbour feelings of awkwardness toward those who I feel could've handled certain situations better, if it was the room, or the songs.... I dont know. But usually, listening to barbershop music is my refuge, last night it was just a timefiller... I'm disappointed. Hurt. Unsure of why it doesn't feel the same. I hope soon that I'm able to find that refuge again, even if its in something else. Other than that.. life is going well. Jackie is finally potty trained, and doing slpendidly at it. Very few accidents, and it's been less of a hassle than I thought it would be (thank goodness!) I'm almost at a loss for what to do with myself at the moment because I'm approaching 1 year not having any classes for school, feels odd to not have to prepare myself. Suppose I should channel that energy into teaching Jackie :) I hope the world finds all of you out there okay. There is always good in every situation, even if it's hard to see it. I pray you are able to see the good even when it's surrounded by bad. Till we meet again.