emotional desert..... check

Suppose I should've realized when I didn't get excited about one of my favorite past times that something was wrong. Here I am, in a funk, becoming a self loathing shadow of a person, and I don't know what to do. I'm sure there's much to be said about the weather, and my lack of gym time over the last week that have contributed to my lack of "feel good". And my diet certainly hasn't helped. It's the terrible feedback cycle where my self hatred and low self esteem create this void of self worth and make my carb craving sky rocket. UGH... Feeling slow and sluggish, I get more cravings for carbs....aka...sugar for energy, and feel worse than before.

I'm going to try and nip this in the bud and get my ass moving in the gym hard this week. Releasing serotonin so that I can maybe get some "feel good" back. I hate that this cycle moves in almost like clockwork every so often and I don't want this spell to last too long. 

Busy life schedule has taken its toll on me for a while. I'm hoping that once I'm immersed in a new situation that it'll be different. Hoping that what I've found is really what I want. That I've found someone who wants to take care of me, and who my heart in return is compelled to do the same. Just hope I haven't had wool pulled over my eyes in the attempt to find something that wasn't there.